p3x.deThe rules are made up and the points don't matter
lemmy.world/pictrs/image/7a219ea3-4be2-4b50-99d…
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maxpoor@lemmy.world
lemmy.world/pictrs/image/7a219ea3-4be2-4b50-99d…
a r t s t y l e
People who say Lemmy is not a social media site might just be right.
Because apparently the people here do not want to be social they just want the media.
Finally
Asocial media
discussion =/= socializing
I think lemmy and reddit are super different from social media. you can use some of their tools to socialize but most if not all people don't use their real names, most don't even have a proper profile, most people don't follow each other or try to get followers, etc. there's just no "relationship" aspect that is distinct to social media sites.
if anything lemmy feels a little more social just because of the small size, and how you start to recognize the same bunch of people in the comments. but I'd expect that to go away if it ever gets really big one day.
Who is speaking in the last panel?
A Portal turret.
are you still there?
Without checking other comics in the same storyline I would have to guess roommate(I don't know this chatacters living situation), the keyholes in some appartments are on both sides, she is inside her apartment trying to leave, and has been trying for long enough that the roommate is surprised.
Flat mate or partner or family?
This is real.
It is and the peephole is the gateway to false negatives. It seems like they're gone, and then they're not! They were just out of spy range!
The fuckers forgot their car keys and had to dash back in!
Thats why you have pinhole cameras above your door pointing down the hallway in each direction as well.
There's 2 playing my game!?!??
Are they afraid to leave their apartment? It looks like they're outside their apartment with needing the key to turn the deadbolt.
Different lock types are more or less common in different places.
I don't know where the artist of the comic lives, but here in the UK for example most exterior doors have a keyhole on BOTH sides, and you need to use the key to lock or unlock it from inside, as well as from out.
That seems so incredibly dangerous needing the key to get out
It does feel like it might be, but I don't know if it actually is.
The UK generally has extremely good fire safety regulations, so if this was getting people killed I feel like it would have been the subject of some scrutiny.
The house I grew up in was this way, and the house I live in now with a new door (<10yo) is still that way.
As a kid I never thought about it, and I don't remember ever being stuck in the house.
The way people normally deal with keys is that everyone who needs a key has one of their own on their keyring, and there is usually also a 'house' key which stays by the door and isn't taken away anywhere.
And none of this is to say "this is a good way" it's just to say "this is the way people are used to here"
Even worse when you're really hungry but your flatmates are hanging out in the kitchen
Just stroll out as casual as possible and act suprise when they see you. "oh shit, hey" without any clothes on. Repeat this until they relocate their usual hangout spot to another building.
E: or discover your like exhibitionism and your fear of socializing drops (but your horniness rises when you can hear them congregating)
Hm, I'm kind of in between. I do this fairly often, not wanting to go out right when someone else is there. But I don't know why, since as far as I can tell it doesn't make me feel anxious to run into someone like in the cartoon.
It doesn't bother me at all to cross paths with someone and I'm fine with saying Hi or just nodding to acknowledge their presence. Rarely does anyone actually try to start a conversation or anything. If they do say anything it's probably just a one-liner and move on. And it's easy to tell if someone doesn't want to nod or say Hi as you pass because they stare at the ground the whole time, and I'm fine with that too, but I don't do that.
But now I'm wondering, so why *do* I tend to wait until they're gone? Is it really social anxiety? I don't think so? I'm a loner but I have no problem or anxiety talking to people either. 🤔
I'm usually rushing out somewhere when I leave the house and a few of my neighbors are talkers, which I normally don't mind at all. But sometimes it makes more sense to just wait inside for a minute rather than get stuck in a 5 minute conversation.
Not me. I even talk to people in the bathroom.
Regular Scandinavian life.
I need to move to Scandinavia.
Expensive, cold, and dark. Otherwise sounds fantastic.
I don't get it. Are they afraid of possibly having a brief interaction with a neighbor?
Yes, we are.
...why though?
Reminds me of a favorite line from a song, "I don't want you to romanticize falling the fuck apart"
Just going to stick my reply on the top comment here, but may touch on some of the lower comments to help out.
Answering yes to the question "Are they afraid of possibly having a brief interaction with a neighbor" is going to be unique to the individual. I saw some mention of anxiety disorder down there, and while that may be the case for some, I wouldn't label myself with that and I see this as a good opportunity to caution against over generalization for these grey areas of life.
For me personally, I have a full time career that primarily involves interacting with people 95% of the time. When I get done working for the day... I'm all interacted out. So yeah I may not enter a room or exit my apartment when I know it's going to require more social interactions. I'm just tired. It's honestly easier for me to just wait a couple minutes so that I don't have to restart my decompression.
This was a useful perspective for me. Thanks.
Also while I dont have social anxiety, I do have Autism and was diagnosed more specifically with Aspergers. This means that I really dont like dealing with people in general, not in an anxiety wag but in a let me do my own thing type of way.
Because then you have to make pointless small talk and pleasantries, and I need to save all of those for the boring people I don't want to talk to at work.
Come to Germany. We don't talk to each other in public. Ever.
Smalltalk with the cashier? Hell no. It's just "Card or Cash? " "Card." "Receipt?" "Nope. Bye." "Bye". Every time.
Walk past each other on a tail. Maaaaaybe it will be a "Hello". That's it. Every time.
It sounds like a magical land.
"sorry, I'm in a rush"
Ya but, you don’t have to do that. Nobody cares if you walk by them in the apartment corridor without acknowledging them
https://youtu.be/gjSlb0yl53E?si=tBi2ytpFfCfGXB-d
Expressing your struggles *is not the same* as romanticizing them. You should self interrogate why you assume they are the same
Because a lot of people I know and see are like "lol I'm a mess" without seeming to do anything to address the situation.
Though that's aggravated by the capitalist hellscape that makes getting health care difficult.
But also I'm less generous about this because it's frustrating to be on the receiving end of someone's crippling anxiety.
And this comic is a cutesy, romanticized if you will, representation of it.
interrogate harder because “I feel impinged on by people with anxiety” is *not it* lmao
A lot of the struggles and progress in this area isn't going to outwardly visible unless they decide to share that with you.
Trauma.
They likely have high anxiety, possibly an anxiety disorder. It’s just a relatable representation of that in comic form
Surely you're not implying that wanting to avoid unnecessary social interaction with overly familiar strangers means you have high anxiety? You could claim they're socially awkward but that's still pretty far from anxiety.
There are other reasons to want to. But social anxiety is pretty common, so it's generally a safe assumption.
My wife is like this. She claims its because the dog is to crazy around them, but its not the dog. I know her. Its funny because when caught with the neighbors she is cordial and will talk and laugh but she just can't get passed her predispositions. I on the other hand will run out if I hear the neighbors as I like to play with their dogs.
I do this for every threat of human interaction ever. I wish I could fix that.
You don't fix it. You just work on it till you can handle more because you want to or you have to.
We aren't so much as broken as just different, as we all are. We all just need to do our parts to work to be part of society rather than perfect it ourselves first.
I'm human, and you just interacted with me.
EDIT: This community has apparently about 11,000 active users. You just interacted with them and it didn't seem to be an issue.
You're not a threat and you don't set my nervous system into meltdown. It's the level of abstraction that I need to interact at all.
I don't believe this. I'm pretty sure this computer I'm using is generating random comments as I'm scrolling through here.
Every fucking time I want to leave some other neighbour comes out first and I have to wait for them to clear out before I can leave.
And they are so slow! Clear the public area swiftly you inconsiderate buffoons!
So you guys hate eachother?
It's just normal social anxiety.
To actively avoid interacting with anyone outside of your specific social circle???
Doesn't seem like that would be "normal".
Come visit Finland! Then you can be the weird one 😂
There was a joke here that they were telling us to stand closer together during the height of Covid for example
well, you suffer from social anxiety, than yes, it's normal
I suppose it depends on your definition of normal. But I specifically didn't say it was normal for everyone, I said it was normal social anxiety. Which only affects around 10% of people. Still a pretty large number, that's about the same as being left-handed. And yet you likely know more people that are left handed, because the odds of meeting someone with social anxiety are, of course, much lower even though just as many exist.
That would be "normal social anxiety symptoms" or even "normal for social anxiety" where normal applies to the symptom discussed. Here your use of normal supplements the "social anxiety" which I do understand is more prevalent than people would really acknowledge but isn't exactly normal.
Even more so for zero contact, no coping mechanism social anxiety that has you saying rude things about others existing in shared physical space.
Undiagnosed anxiety sufferers who think it’s normal to be terrified of human interaction downvoting you
Wow you hate people more than I do. Just say that.
The old people always want to talk and I'm too nice to cut them off. There is no other choice but to avoid them at all costs.
I need this explained. Is this a bathroom?
Yes. Their violent neighbor broke in earlier and is currently using their bathroom, much to the embarrassment of the protagonist
I think it's her front door and her neighbors are talking in the hall outside her apartment. (The keys doesn't really make sense with her wanting to 'go')
In Europe you often have doors that lock with keys from inside as well. And no knob/autolock.
The good part is that there is no "I forgot my keys and locked myself out" because either you couldn't leave without your keys or you left your door unlocked.
The bad part is when you are late to your engagement because you can't just leave the apartment unlocked/you are locked in and your room mate Julia misplaced her keys and borrowed yours to go out for an hour and she's an hour late already. Fuck you, Julia. Also fire safety.
Some houses have a deadbolt that has a lock cylinder on both sides because it’s more resistant to breakins. My house is like this and I need a key to leave unless I want to jump out of a window
Have they not invented fire in your country yet?
Like most buildings, my house has windows I can exit in an emergency
Double cylinder deadbolts are pretty common IME
More likely though it's a normal turner inside, and she just has her keys ready to lock the deadbolt from the outside. That's how our apartment is.
I was thinking it could be a gas station bathroom.
People with anxiety are valid and deserve to have their problems taken seriously
Yes, but this situation isn't necessarily anxiety. It can just be social awkwardness, not wanting to have to say hi, etc.
of course it’s a comic with fake characters with no objective truth to be found…
but the artist is a vocal mental health advocate
…it’s 100% about anxiety 😅
Social awkwardness can be a part of anxiety.
Did I say otherwise? I only said anxiety is not the only possible cause
Your comment, *it’s probably not, it’s probably something else,* really doesn’t lend itself to allowing it.
Please don't misquote me, I said nothing of the sort.
*Isn't necessarily means >0% chance
*Probably means >50% chance
They are not the same
That's not what they said though
They said
They make me anxious...
They are and they do, but this example is extreme. Having been on both sides of this, I'd say no one should have to live their life in fear of every little interaction. It's exhausting, and you will never succeed in getting every person to leave you alone anyway. But this doesn't have to be "the way it is." You can actually change and make your life easier. Sometimes it takes help and a long time, but I believe most people can do it if they really want to.
I don't even have anxiety and I think this is relatable. It's not even necessarily fear, but maybe not having the bandwidth to be social in that moment.
Spoons, etc
But where does the comic state or imply that living like this is healthy? The character doesn't seem happy.
Do you think we should treat people with crippling anxiety by telling them that their anxiety is crippling any time they post on the internet about how crippling their anxiety is?
My relationship with my neighbors is that we're great friends to the point that we don't even knock coming into each other's apartments, especially considering we regularly take each other's dogs for walks while the others away.
That's sweet
This sounds like my personal nightmare. I'd never be able to relax knowing someone could drop by any moment. You're way more friendly than I.
The whole neighborhood, for the most part, consists of friends. It's employee housing for a ski resort so they're all at least coworkers, with the exception of the cop who doesn't do anything but is used as a threat against everyone else by the landlord and me who's an unemployed arguably crazy person who's trying to get on disability for the seizures and is allowed to stay since I sleep on my dad's couch and he gets along great with the resort.
That's why I don't leave the house. 😎
Leave, wave "hi" at them and continue on.
The entire point is that seemingly easy thing *just isn't* for them. I know because that used to be me at my worst points.
It can be learned however. Now I'm probably the guy they want to avoid because I will smile and say hi.
Your the guy I'm hiding from.
Ew
This is why people moved en masse to suburbs. You go to your car and drive away, rarely even see a neighbor. I've spoken to a neighbor once in the last year and it was because we were both shoveling snow (it was yesterday). We shoveled for an hour in silence but we kept getting closer to the street (she's across the street). At some point we were only about 20 feet from each other and the silence was awkward. At least it was just a 30 second convo.
Wtf? I live in the suburbs and we talk regularly to the neighbours. Is this some weird US-specific dystopia?
It's automatic garage door culture. You pull up to your house and hit the garage open button and when you leave it's the same, you just drive away and never see anyone, you close your garage remotely and you're gone. Maybe if you do your own lawn care you'll see neighbors but many people hire lawn care professionals. I don't have a garage to park in. But my wife likes to do the lawn care. So I'm only outside while walking to or from my car. My wife hates the cold so snow shoveling is on me. I'm about to be shoveling more in five minutes :)
Community is hard to come by here. It's bad.
Yes
I grew up in a suburb and that was the only time I HAVE regularly felt like this. I still wince when I think of the loud Greek lady across the street who shouted my name whenever I tried to leave the house. Egads.
For me, it's my roommate and the never-ending rant about 'stupid' things going on at work.
comments did *not* pass the vibe check oh mein gyatt
Ong wtf. I was expecting more "oh haha that's totally me" or some form of solidarity, but nope
no cap, it's really skibidi
😐
Never really got this myself. Maybe it's not a rational thing since who gives a fuck?
Ahh i cant relate to this one
Can't relate
Maybe we should seriously stop normalizing anxiety.
Yeah, just stop normalizing talking with people who don't want to socialize.
The problem in the comic isn't the neighbor, it is talking to the neighbor.
Just walk past without saying a word. What are they going to do? Move?
Just say "Hi !" if you're not an asshole
Only if they say “hi” first. There’s no reason to engage if they don’t.
It is normal social behavior to at least acknowledge other people
Completely depends on culture. Even in the US, I like working in the northeast because people ignore each other and it's fantastic. In the south it actually impedes my work because it seems like everyone wants to have meaningless conversations all the time.
Swear to God some of you were raised in caves
You are their neighbor and they are yours. Why should they say hi first and not you ?
There a real easy answer to that question. The reason they should say “hi” is because they want to. If they don’t want to, then by golly, they don’t have to. It’s as simple as that. Personally, I am not going to foist upon every rando on my block or in my apartment building, the burden of meaningless formalities just because I go to bed every night closer to them than 8 billion other folks’. I let them be so that they can get about with their busy day. That’s just plain considerate.
There is no problem in the comic. We live in a society, democracy is based on the idea that we want others to be treated fairly, we should start to act like one.
Greeting your neightbour is a good, easy, positive thing.
I think the last few months have more than proven that is not the case.
Democracy, in its most common implementation, is based on the idea of the tyranny of the majority. This often runs counter to the concept of treating others fairly.
People who suffer anxiety are in the minority - and they are forced to navigate a world of people who expect them to conform with their social norms.
We should just live and let live.
This is it. As long as I can remember in the US, the winning party (winning with 23.7% of the eligible voters approval vs 22.9% on the other side) have always essentially said, "suck it losers!" and done as much as they can of what the other party hates. It's tyranny of the majority and why the US has a constitutional Republic framework to limit that tyranny, however ineffective it may be. Never has a party come into power and said, "let's make sure we also represent the will of the millions of voters who voted the other way."
Sure, but it isn't a necessary thing.
Not even in a society where everyone gets treated fairly.
expressing struggles with a common disorder is not normalizing the disorder. this is a mean comment.
It's not about this comic, it's about the pervasive rappresentation of these struggles as cute quirks instead of crippling issues stemming from a dysfuntional society that needs to be changed.
That's in a never ending amount of webcomics.
Should I also call them out as being low hanging fruits as well?
“it’s not about this comic” *responds to this comic*
listen i agree with some of your goals but you can understand my confusion at you using mean language under a post you deem acceptable, no?
I'm sure you will master connecting a thing to a related concept in a matter of weeks.
you made a hurtful comment. just explaining your downvotes. :)
We normalize everything now.
Yeah, that's honestly the future of humanity at this rate.
Normalizing everything left and complaining about it not being normal enough and for it being normalized at all.
Skill issue
You can't be serious.
EDIT: Guys, seriously. If this is you please talk to a doctor or seek help through other channels. This is not a healthy or normal way to live.
They are and it's apparently celebrated here in Lemmy to be the worst kind of person without working on it.
Judging by the downvotes, I'd say you're right. Reminds me of my ex who would make every excuse in the book just to avoid having to make a phone call. It's very tiring to deal with.
When did we as a society reach a new low that involves shitting on people with anxiety?
When it became a fad to brag about it and not to work on it and interact socially like our species has done for thousands of years.
It's fine to not be social all the time and to have anxiety. This. And all this conversation in here about how normal it is to despise your neighbors enough to hide inside just because they are outside... Is not that. And it's normalizing a fear and lack of interaction that doesn't help people. It just makes it easier to feel right about your specific quirk.
No one's bragging about anything. We're just trying to have a good laugh and relate to some problems we encounter in our lives. Nobody explicitly told you that we aren't trying to solve this problem. I don't know why you would make the assumption that we weren't.
It just seems like you want to shit on people going through something for the fun of it. Do better.