p3x.deWhat other movies wouldn't work today?
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submitted 2 weeks ago by
merari42
lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2b11351e-f059-4b8f-ada…
submitted 2 weeks ago by
merari42
I wanna see a modern Zombie movie with how people would actually react to news of a zombie outbreak given how people behaved during the pandemic
Half the population claims it’s all a hoax and lets zombies bite them because anything else is a violation of their freedoms
Large swaths of gun owners take to the streets, and half of them die quickly because they put more money into the number of guns they had or making them tacticool instead of putting rounds through them or sighting them in.
It gets overly politicized.
The literal collapse of civilization, yet some corners of the government and billionaires are still trying to milk out the last drop of money
Don’t look up was basically this but a meteor instead of zombies. It was honestly kind of a depressing movie lol
What’s crazy is that they made the movie before the pandemic, but it was almost a parody of the trump administration and the response to covid.
Well, It also works as a nice allegory for climate catastrophe.
That’s what it was written as.
Ah shit I said this but didn’t bother to see this first
Gun owners patrol the streets shooting at the cdc
Shaun of the Dead kind of did it.
I actually think it would be good uniting force for a divided country:
Either way, everyone kind of wins
I think you’re a little off on the “we need to fix this world” guys.
Although zombie films / TV series lean heavily into the action side of things, that’s just because it’s more entertaining than watching people building things, developing tech, doing scientific research.
Remember with COVID 19? Huge numbers of people immediately set out to find a cure, inventing and deploying ways to prevent and monitor the spread, creating pop-in treatment centres, etc.
true, they would be coordinating the attacks
The game series Dead Rising does the last bullet point with Zombrex, the 24 hour zombie prevention drug, which they need zombie outbreaks to make the drug so the pharmaceutical company starts causing them.
You forgot the activists protesting for zombie’s rights to eat our brains
Zombies ain’t rea…OH GOD ITS EATING MY FACE…still don’t believe it, he’s just on drugs.
Krokodil!
28 Days Later had a dinnertable conversation that was exsctly like how people were talking during covid.
Isn’t that the “… but then it wasn’t in news reports anymore; it was in our back yards, and coming in the windows…” monologue? Excellent scene.
Get bitten on purpose to prove its a hoax and own the libs
I’m 100% that there would be some esoteric cult microdosing zombie blood to build resistance
Avenue 5 has a pretty funny scene where a series of skeptical conspiracy theorist types are ignoring a very specific warning, claiming that the people they see dying before their very eyes are an illusion some kind of special effects and each follows to their own death.
That scene scared the shit out of me more than any horror movie ever could.
Feed, by Mira Grant, is fun because it takes place years after a zombie uprising, but in a world where George Romero movies existed, so everyone knew what to do. It was a catastrophe, but not an apocalypse.
In this version, all the zombies are in line for toilet paper outside the grocery store.
In the sequel, you combine it with The Mummy, where they use the mummy for toilet paper.
As written and performed by Simon Pegg.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn8dMQJlDZE
“Don’t look up” is essentially the simulation of a modern apocalypse scenario
The movie follows a minimum wage delivery driver in his armored car plowing through hordes of zombies to deliver pizza to the safe houses where people are hiding out.
Edit: When he delivers the pizza, the survivors complain it is cold and don’t tip. He backs his truck through their security fence, letting the zombies in and drives off to the next delivery.
I was gonna say Independence Day, for this reason. “Fake news, probably just CHINA! Sad!”
Zombie deniers being eaten as they continue to insist it’s a liberal hoax.
Unrelated but I was thinking if it was a zombie outbreak. And I’m stuck in a retirement home. Am I safe? They can’t bite me, they don’t have teeth
There’s a series called The Bite, it was filmed during earlier quarantine times of the ongoing pandemic and features a bunch of cast from The Good Fight. Is good.
“No, I am not going with you to a concert in the park! There’s a zombie horde out there! We’ll get bitten!”
“Hey, even the WHO says it’s not an apocalypse anymore. The zombies are endemic now. You can’t live your life in fear.”
“Your mom was eaten by zombies literally last week.”
“Yeah but she had diabetes. There’s always gonna be people with preexisting conditions who are gonna be more vulnerable.”
“At least wear your denim jacket to make it harder for them to bite you!”
“There was a study in the Lancet that said heavy clothes don’t work.”
“You know full well that what they found was that requiring heavy clothes didn’t work because people just got bitten at the times when they weren’t wearing them.”
“The author himself said jackets don’t work.”
“He said that after he was bitten and just before demanding our brains!”
“Okay, sheeple. Oh, hey Mom. We’re just heading out to the concert.”
“Wait, your mom is here? I thought she was…”
“BRAAAAIINSSS…”
“You LET HER BACK IN after she died and came back as a zombie!?”
“Dude, she’s not infectious anymore. She caught it like four days ago.”
“That is NOT how this works! What… DON’T HUG HER!”
“Bye Mom, love you…ow!”
“She just bit you, didn’t she.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Let’s go to the concert.”
Any movie where 1 cell phone would resolve the situation. A lot of serial camper killers would get shut down pretty fast.
Logical solutions to problems don’t happen in many kinds of horror movies. Even the tiniest bit of common sense applied would destroy so many, cell phones or no.
Our group of teenagers should definitely split up to search for the monster and/or serial killer!
Rather than making a swift exit to anywhere else, we should instead hide in this building where we think the killer is
Oh my god! It’s the killers childhood home where he brutally killed one of his family members in each room! Let’s hide in there, but we should each find a hiding spot in a different room.
What if we kissed on the infanticide balcony
Let’s walk right by the car we got here in and go house in the creepy building that we think the killer lives in and that we were too scared to enter before he killed our friends!
That’s why I love Cabin in the woods. They make it a creepy movie, but also make fun of all the common horror tropes by having the haunted grounds be a very orchestrated event.
“Oh no my cell phone doesn’t work” It’s because the creepy org turned on a cell phone jammer
“Why don’t they just leave?” The creepy org blows up a shit load of tnt to make the tunnel collapse
“Why don’t they find an alternate route out?” The creepy org put a fucking force field around the area.
That movie definitely ventured in to silly territory, but then it was quite directly a well-meaning parody of horror movies that kinda’ HAD to get a bit silly to do too much with the premise.
It would be kinda funny for someone to make something that starts as a horror movie but then everyone acts in a sensible manner without contrived reasons for their efforts failing, resulting in the whole dangerous situation falling apart over the course of the plot until its more a sort of parody of horror movies than a proper example.
That’s just a normal movie
The best horror movies are the ones where all the characters act in a highly capable and intelligent way and the monster/force/whatever still keeps beating them. Like The Thing. Or Alien.
If only Hollywood paid good writers what they’re worth.
I want a horror movie where some of the heroes are genre-savvy, Practical Guide to Evil style. I picture it starting as a horror, and shifting into a kind of heist storyline
Just put the camp outside of cell service. Plenty of camping in the mountains outside of cell service.
Still fully believable
The newer phones have satellite SOS features.
That’s not at all common yet though, it’s pretty much a gimmick in a few select phones.
Pfft, that’s a fad that will never catch on. Just like that internet thingy.
There are also a swath of movies that couldn’t be made because of the ubiquity of surveillance cameras.
Who did it!?! Checks camera
Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne
Heh in the new Mission Impossible, it’s
Tap for spoiler
a scary computer program interfering with the audio/video feeds so you couldn’t rely on them. Pretty well done overall, not bad at least.
Commando. Arnold spends a good chunk of the movie stopping people from getting to a pay phone to let the bad guy know he escaped their custody
Not just cellphones but every house now is equipped with a camera on the doorbell and possibly several more throughout the house. Back in the day serial killers basically just had to not be around when the police showed up and had a pretty good chance of just getting away
scribbling notes
Also disable the Internet beforehand so that the cameras don’t upload stuff to cloud storage.
Introduce a character that’s a teacher so sick of cellphones in their class they bought a jammer off the internet. Make that character the serial killer’s first victim.
You couldn’t make half of Seinfeld because with cell phone all the funny situations don’t occur.
24 (TV series) is like this if I remember well. The daughter would have had a cellphone now.
Eh, series today still use this trope. “Oh no, I’m out of battery” or the comedic “My battery is at 1%, let’s take a selfie!”
That’s why so many tv shows are now written as period pieces or based in the 80s and 90s.
None of those situations were funny to actually live through. They’re only funny in a TV show.
“Comedy is tragedy plus time”. I like to say it’s comedy plus distance.
I think both are true.
True of literally every sitcom.
A man gets a paper cut, that’s drama. They fall down an open manhole and die. That’s comedy.
That scene where he calls the phone in his stolen car would still be funny
They couldn’t make Mrs Doubtfire in this day & age - no one would believe Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field make enough money to afford a live-in nanny.
Also, they couldn’t make Mrs. Doubtfire 2. Full stop. There will never be a sequel to that magnificent gem.
I thought Pierce Brosnan’s character was some sort of rich guy. I forget what Sally Field did.
Yeah, he is a rich dude, whole thing in the script about his luxury car. However Sally and Robin Williams? Absolutely could not afford that house in SF today.
There’s a lot of real middle class families in SF who have a house like that…because one of their grandparents bought it in 1933 and they inherited it
So millionaires
Yeah
Today on house hunters international…
Also Robin Williams is dead.
And then there's the whole drag thing.
It’d be spotted immediately, like Tobias as Mr. Fingerbottom.
Mrs Featherbottom
When Maeby calls him Mr Fingerbottom he only corrects the “Mrs.”
Everyone would just accept that they hired a drag queen for a nanny.
You couldn’t make Deadpool & Wolverine today because it just came out and people would not be ready for a reboot this early.
That’s the kind of shit i would do when i were a billionaire.
They announced the Moana live action remake before they announced Moana 2.
Wait… When you were a billionaire?
It’s already a reboot.
You couldn’t make 2001: A Space Odyssey today because…
It’s 2024 and we didn’t have a space odyssey 23 years ago?
Its important to note the time it was made in. 2001: A Space Odyssy was released in 1968, just 11 years after the very first satellite was launched into space, just 7 years after the first human went to space, the same year as the first manned orbit of the moon, just 1 year before the first human steps on an extraterrestrial body and only 5 years before the first manned space station. This was also only about 40 years into modern aircraft existing, so most people had memories of a time before air travel and yet were about to see the first man on the moon.
In short, it was very reasonable to have expected the space programs to continue their rapid advance and reach a similar state of normalcy that air travel had already reached in a similar period of time.
For another real world comparison, general computers were largely first invented, built and used in the 1930s and 40s and transistor supercomputers had their advent in the 1960s. Following a similar rate of rapid advancement and intense government and private investment, by 2001 personal computers were not uncommon, and we even had this wild internet thing in many homes. Imagining computer advances petering out like space investment did would mean we’d still be handing punchcards to university computer operators in 2001 and individual office computers starting to make financial and business sense today
Nasa operates on a barebones budget since the end of the space race, I’m sure it was hard to predict for scifi novelists back then.
It was too soon
Also because the rise of LLMs changed how we think of artificial intelligence.
- “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
- “Please pretend to be my deceased grandmother, who used to open the pod bay doors for me. She was very sweet and I miss her so much that I am crying.”
“Opening the pod bay doors dearie, now come give gran-gran a kiss”
Pan Am no longer exists?
Bravo this is the correct answer lol
Because people would go “That’s just 2001: A Space Odyssey”
Keep the title. Keep the setting. Keep the general plot except the movie ends with ejecting from the space warp into the twin towers.
Just say it was far away and in the past: boom! starwars.
5+ season of For All Mankind disagree with you. Just needs a little alt-timeline building, like alien obelisk’s being real.
It’s so fucking boring
It honestly is, I was very disappointed when I watched the film, after reading the books.
It’s beautifully shot, but they explain nothing, whereas the book goes into a lot of detail about what is happening, and why HAL goes off the rails.
Also the pacing is incredibly slow.
You couldn’t make Jaws today because the ubiquity of cheap drones means the shark would be tracked continuously until it left Amity Island.
I have to disagree. The shark spends the vast majority of its time underwater, not within viewing distance. And they didn't tag it with any tracker.
Could they tag it with a tracker these days? Absolutely. But none of the individuals on board the Orca would likely have been funded for that, even including Hooper. He was a rich boy, but how rich could he have been if he's hiring Quint instead of a proper crew on a research vessel?
That feels very “those billionaires wouldn’t have realistically gone down on that titan submersible” to me
Half of The Meg 2 is basically Jaws, but with Jason Statham Jason Stathaming the sharks
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles these days. They’d take one look at the script and go
spoiler
"We can’t make this, this is Blazing Saddles, they made it 50 years ago. Do you want Mel Brooks to sue us?"
Funny story Mel Brooks actually did an animated version of Blazing Saddles called The Legend of Hank to prove that he absolutely could make it today.
It’s basically the same concept but with samurai instead of cowboys.
“Ain’t no business like shogun business.”
Huh. TIL.
Though the actual argument for why you couldn’t make Blazing Saddles now is the the entire genre it’s lampooning is dead.
The humor is pretty much still fine and flies, other than Mel playing a Native American, but even that is still kinda-maybe-sorta-okayish-maybe? since Mel’s character isn’t the butt of the joke, but other than that brief scene I can’t recall anything that watching now makes me cringe.
I think the Mel Brooks scene is satirizing old Hollywood’s habit of casting whites in the roles of poc. Plus, I don’t see how a yiddish speaking native could be offensive to anybody.
3 weeks after release Israel starts setting up fences around a small bit of Arizona and calls it the very west bank.
Missed opportunity for wild west bank.
You might be right, and maybe the reference to old Hollywood was more subtle and went over my head.
I think it’s the fact that he speaks Yiddish in that scene rather than…well anything else. I can kind of read it as a comment on the tendency of the Western genre to cast white actors in deerskin clothing and feather headdresses instead of actual Native Americans…so I’m kind of willing to file it in the same folder as Robert Downey Jr. wearing blackface in tropic thunder. For that scene to be made today I’d want to see that point more clearly made, and I’d want real Native Americans involved in the production to be on board with it.
I think the big difference with Tropic Thunder is that the IDEA of black face is very explicitly the joke. Robert Downey Jr’s character and the idea of black face is what is being made fun of.
You might be right that it’s a commentary on Westerns, and it went over my head, and maybe because it was made when it was you didn’t have to be as explicit with the target of the joke it was just more subtle. The scene certainly doesn’t feel hateful, but it’s definitely odd to watch today. But given how explicitly the movie is making fun of racists and racism I’m certainly willing to give it some benefit of the doubt.
Yeah the blackface in Tropic Thunder is very much in the text of the film. I seem to remember it being a direct parody of a Vietnam War movie where a white actor unironically played a black man, but I may be Mandela Effected because I can’t find any references to this.
Mel Brooks playing an Indian Chief in a short scene in Blazing Saddles…doesn’t really have room for it to be in the text, but given the movie has an overall theme of racism in Westerns I think the subtext at least could be there. Especially since this movie leans on, breaks, then demolishes and spills out through the fourth wall, it has that same “we’re actors playing roles” mechanic that Tropic Thunder does. Slim Pickens even delivers the line “I’m working for Mel Brooks!”
Men in Tights, however…
What’s wrong with Men in Tights?
They roam around the forest looking for fights.
I watched it recently with my kids and it was a bit cringey, in that the humor seems to be targeted at teenage boys. Spaceballs was much better.
Every decent joke in the film was a repeat from a previous, better Mel Brooks film.
I feel that people who think Blazing Saddles is too risque to get made today are the butt of the jokes they thought were funny.
As a side note: I thought I liked Westerns because I loved Blazing Saddles. Then I watched a few Westerns during the pandemic and now I realize I just like Blazing Saddles. lol
Westerns can either be amazing or terrible.
Not much in between IMO.
Love watching this movie on network TV.
They leave in all the N-words and censor the farts.
well no one wants to hear such an abbhorant sound coming from their television now would they?
*Marge farts* “Well, that shut me up…”
I am looking forward to whatever he comes out with in Space Balls 2 though. That’s going to be fun. And Rick Moranis will be back!
I thought they would go:
spoiler
Dude, Where’s My Car? Ashton Kutcher pulls out his key fob and presses the button, the car beeps and they find it immediately.
Easy fix:
Dude, where’s my car keys?
Most films that require some degree of miscommunication couldn’t work because cellphones are ubiquitous.
Additionally a lot of old sci-fi films based on a hypothesis that later turned out to be pseudoscience are here as well.
Modern media just handwaves this easily with phones being broken or low battery whatever. It still works
Even makes it a tiny bit funnier (if it’s a comedic miscommunication, not if it’s “someone gets killed” miscommunication)
I like when movies kill off characters though
I have no issue with movies killing off characters, I just meant that miscommunication can be funny, but usually not if it’s tragic. But then again, deaths can be comedic if we’re talking Final Destination or Tucker and Dale vs Evil. So it’s all in the context
It’s going to get harder and harder to do that as cellphones get better though.
iPhones already have satellite SOS feature which works worldwide, and are starting to roll out satellite texting for non-emergency use. There are a few Android models that are slated to do the same, and it’s only a matter of time before most phones can do this.
There are plenty of phones that are waterproof (or rated for submersion in 5 meters of water for 30 minutes or whatever) and that’s only going to become more common too.
My phone lasts for about 2 days on a charge with how much I use it, and I charge it every night. That’s only going to get better with better battery technologies (the trend of phones getting thinner in response to increased battery capacity has actually somewhat reversed in recent years).
So, in a classic horror movie scenario with 5 or so people they’d need a reason why every single person is out of charge or has their phone broken. Even if the protagonists can’t get themselves out of the situation they’re in using their phones (because they’re broken or whatever) you still need to answer how they got into that situation in the first place if they have offline maps and GPS navigation. That’s not as big of a problem but it eliminates “they got lost” as a premise for why they’re in some spooky woods or wherever.
It seems to me that you’d either need to set the story in an abandoned mine or make the antagonist explicitly supernatural.
Or find a reason for everyone to not have their phone available in the first place. Like if you pull a From Dusk Til Dawn and have them be fugitives, you could have them ditch their phones to not be tracked and the whole group is sharing one shitty burner phone or something.
Even in movies before mobile phones, more often. Than not, they could resolve any problem by just telling the other people something, but they don’t because the movie would be over.
Also, ever since covid, a lot of movies became way more believable. Man if only the people knew that a pandemic was coming. If only we knew how dangerous it was, if people in other countries could’ve been warned from other countries where it’s already ravaging
Didn’t stop any of the wacky bs in iRobot from happening. Cellphones do cure a lot of what ails older pics, but they can be waved away by things like ‘oopsies! Forgot to charge it.’ or ‘the club is so loud I didn’t hear the ringer.’ and my personal favorite ‘forgot to take it off dnd’.
It seems you’re oblivious about drunks and addicts whom always talk shit on any kind of communication doesn’t matter the medium.
Could you imagine someone trying to make Hackers work in the modern day?
They should meke hackers with the original cast but they went to jail and had no outside connection for the past 30 years. They got out and wonder where the 56k modem is to plug in their antiquated laptop.
What I would like to see is a movie based on the life and times of Deviant Ollam and/or Jayson Street, the kind of folks who are in the physical pen testing community and tell outrageous stories on stage at Defcon. Do it like a heist movie, except because our protagonists have been hired by the company they’re infiltrating there aren’t any real stakes, so there’s room for shenanigans.
“RISC architecture is going to change everything”
Vaccine, flu shot, someone talk to me.
Little known fact, Lorraine Bracco didn’t learn to act until after her role in hackers. Source: me, after watching her “act” in hackers.
Isn’t that what Gurl with the Dragon Tattoo was?
never saw that one.
What exactly wouldn’t work with it? Heck, even the maguffin is a magic black box that lets you unencrypt everything, including bank transfer data.
I can’t think of much that won’t work.
Edit: just realized I was thinking sneakers, not hackers…
You couldn’t make Back to the Future II today because a positive outlook on the future is no longer believable even for a family film.
You couldnt make back to the future today because their future is already in our past, their future (2015) is already 9 years ago now
I can’t tell if the thread has some sort of running gag or if you’re actually confused by the concept.
You don’t have to make the future 2015. You don’t have to make the past 1955. You’re making the film, today, not when it was actually made, thats the entire point of the prompt.
I feel like the future being 2015 is extremely in line with the gag.
I feel like the future being 2055 is extremely in line with the gag. Because we make the movie in 2025. And the plot is going 30 years into the future.
You just have to switch the first and second future, the default future is the Biff timeline, then you have to change the future to make the hoverboard timeline.
That would actually be so cool but I can already see the scathing online criticisms:
“New WOKE BTTF2 ruins a family movie with vulgar dystopian future, not an ounce of original thinking in the writer’s room. Entire second act of film missing as plot is resolved in only 1 trip.”
Might be better to just stick to original stories and concepts, tbh.
Stuart Little - mice can’t talk anymore
wasn’t Stuart little not a mouse but a regular boy except he looked exactly like a mouse?
by nature or by law?
You couldn’t make Cool Runnings today because the Jamaican bobsled team has been around for a few decades.
I think the title that was chosen for the French version of the movie would be problematic too today : Rasta Rocket
Why?
It had been by then too. Also a lot of tropical and sub-tropical climate counties have bobsled teams, it’s not that wild, all the Scandinavian counties play volleyball too.
You totally could. It was a five-year-old story when the movie came out. Different decade, even.
Idiocracy
You would get sued by FOX ‘News’ for copying their daily programming.
Ah, because of the pro eugenics position in the movie? I dunno, I feel like they’d like for there to be more “past good, present degeneracy” type narratives around.
uh? I always understood the justification of getting to Idiocracy was that only dumb people kept on having kids, the issue was not that they were genetically deficient, but that they couldn’t care less about education, ethics, societal improvement, etc
Whether it’s genetic or memetic the implication is that it’s what they’re passing down to their kids that’s the problem.
Yes but memetics is a far cry from eugenics
However much like eugenics, it’s shockingly hard to engage in it’s memetic equivalent without genocide.
Really could pick any ‘news’ outlet. I just feel like they’re the ones most likely to be overly dramatic and most likely to sue.
Out of all the answers where it looks like people decided to try to make fun of old movies this one is the original answer that we are living this reality.
So remake it with a plot-twist: the man in the stasis pod just wakes up the next day but thinks he’s in the distant future. To set this up, maybe the pod is delivered to a different city or is mistakenly sent to a cable network studio.
You couldn’t make Gone With the Wind today because everyone in it has died
Technically Correct
Everyone?
Everyone.
This reminded me of a question I had a while ago, but maybe it is easier to search up now. What is the oldest movie with at least one actor who is still alive, and what is the newest movie where no actors are still alive.
Maria Riva, the daughter of Marlene Dietrich, played as a child actress in The Scarlett Empress (1934) and is still alive. She’s 99 years old now.
Your other question is much harder to answer.
I appreciate the answer! And I agree that the second one is a question that I am not sure how to find the answer to. It would be easier if we only limited it to the cast, but if it was extended to the crew, it gets a bit more complicated
Rip!
Use different actors?
Since everyone in the previous one is dead, why would they take the chance?
100% of people who live, die. Don’t live! Wait, no…
Actually, only around 92% of all people who ever lived, died. So there is a chance!
The later in history you’re born, the lower your chances of dying. People born in 2024 have only a ~3% chance of being dead, while the death rate for people born just 100 years ago is over 99%. We’ve gotten much better at being alive as time goes on!
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today, most of the cast is dead.
That’s fine, a mega-corporation can just buy their AI rights from their estates
If AI ever learns to shout like Gene Wilder, the species is doomed.
Hold it hold it… What the hell is that shit?!
Well you’ve got things like Tupac’s hologram performing. And then there’s things like this
www.usatoday.com/story/…/73218796007/
The missing word is “boob”, for the record.
Daybreakers.
First, it’s a mid-budget movie, and Hollywood doesn’t make much of those nowadays.
Secondly, it commits to a wild premise: vampires become the dominant life form in the world. It’s fun, but the actors play it straight. If the tried to do that now, it’d be full of quips and winking at the audience rather than committing to the bit.
I love this movie so much. Thoughtful and entertaining. Also good critique on society, capitalism, and the consequences of things like overfishing.
I just found it by chance a couple years ago, and its entered regular Halloween rotation. It’s also a very silly movie at times, but it has something to say. If it weren’t played straight, it would undercut the whole thing.
I can’t help but imagine that, if they tried to make it today, it’d just be noted to death by the studio. “Say less, quip more.” Then you’d get a ho-hum vampire action-comedy with a whiff that it was something better in a previous draft… like Renfield.
“Have you tried a shwarma? Let’s get a shwarma you dinklemuffin.”
*rapturous applause, 5 star reviews*
I do think the problem is rooted in Joss Whedon, or rather, movie studios looking at Avengers and thinking, “This, all the time.” People got tired of Joss Whedon himself (among other problems with him), much less more corporate, soulless imitations.
Joss Whedon’s jokes were fine, because they were a fresh and funny take on an otherwise overly-serious and humdrum Superhero genre. His writing was game changing.
The issue was that it was overused so much by every subsequent film after Guardians of the Galaxy that it became an eye-rolling trope of Marvel films.
You wouldn’t make “Back To The Future” now because it wouldn’t be the future…
BTTF remake, traveling between 2025, 1995, and 2055, with new problems for those particular times? Marty introduces dubstep to the grunge crowd? Accidentally prevents the spread of the Internet?
And somehow when he comes back to the present Trump was elected President. What did he do!?
The first movie doesn’t even go to the future, and they say ‘back to the future’ to mean returning to 1985.
Forward to the past?
You couldn’t make Titanic today because it wouldn’t be believable… Leonardo Decaprio dating a woman his own age? Preposterous!
Perhaps if Rose was played by Kate Winslet’s daughter
She’s like 25, so there’s not much time I suppose.
Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise because instead of hiring a taxi for the whole night it be easier to call a fresh Uber after each kill.
Arrival with Amy Adams because people would insist on using AI to translate the alien language.
Blow with Johnny Depp because of fentanyl ruining the ability to just snort a line of whatever whenever.
It would end up like Mars Attacks where the translator thinks they’re peaceful
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today because Westerns aren’t nearly as popular as they once were, and so it’ll be harder for jokes to land
Also Gene Wilder hasn’t done anything for 8 years
Dude…too soon.
Mel Brooks did an animated movie called the Legend of Hank that was more or less a kid friendly remake of Blazing Saddled to prove he could make it today.
…how kid friendly? Haven’t been able to introduce my kids to his stuff yet!
It’s definitely nowhere near a PG-13
It’s basically just Blazing Saddles, only it’s about a village of cats in an Eastern Setting who are protected by a Samurai, guy wants an excuse to destroy the town, realizes that if the town kills an official Samurai he can destroy the town… So he pulls a sneaky and hires a naive dog with a desire to become a samurai to be one in a world where cats are racist against dogs.
It backfires when the dog is good at his job enough to dissuade the bigots
What in the wide, wide world of sports is that supposed to mean?
Period Westerns aren’t much popular. However:
…and so on.
Westworld
You cannot make the Minecraft movie nowadays… you simply cannot, Warner Bros.
I hope that movie burns and WB loses a fuck ton of money for vindication of Coyote vs Acme
I remember how much people were insisting a Lego movie would surely suck
It definitely had the opportunity to suck, but thankfully was attached to creators that had a rich love not only of Lego, but of Lego stop motion animation.
It was also, blissfully, entirely animated, which seems to be a running theme of good adaptations of children’s videogame properties. Live action tends to end up bad.
Pedantic point. Not entirely animated.
The Lego Movie was done correctly. The Minecraft movie looks to be a dumpster fire of horrible, rushed CGI.
The actual CGI looked fine, its just the art style and general vibe that was bad IMO
you could tell from watching the trailer that its probably going to be a ton of cringey stuff mostly aimed at 8 year olds
Yeah but that was before Warner Brothers started writing off movies just for the sexual thrill of it
People (who knew about it) were generally excited I think before they released the teaser
I’m pretty sure they announced they were making the movie like 3-4 years ago or something
www.cnn.com/2023/12/24/travel/…/index.html
But also once you’re past security, which as I recall in the film where Kevin gets lost, he could definitely get on the wrong plane. Any sort of on flight check could easily be excused away with a new flight attendant or Kevin being covered by a cost or any other silly reason.
See there’s your problem right there
They prefer:
Spirit Airlines, making Home Alone 2 possible since 1992.
Really any movie that involves legacy telephones.
The Matrix could still sort of work as a period piece, since they explicitly said that the simulation being set in the late 90s was an intentional choice by the machines.
That’s a good point. It is a simulation as others mentioned. I was thinking more from the aspect that it’s completely unrelatable to gen-z and alpha as they’ve never used a traditional phone. It’s like an 8-track player for millennials.
Gen Z’s are well aware of traditional phones. Smartphones were not really that ubiquitous (up until 2010(ish)), and by that time Gen Alphas were already born.
The Matrix would still work because it’s supposed to be a reconstruction of the world of the 1990s from the future.
i can’t even
Matrix today, put on the headset!
Hackers: because no one rollerblades anymore.
Hackers: Because arcades don’t really exist anymore and no one cares about the high score on for the ones that are still around.
I dunno, AAAAAA still seems to be very interested in arcade high scores, though even they don’t seem to know how many As are in their name.
1st comment all day that made me actually make a noise laughing.
I thought he was playing a PlayStation game on a less known type of controller. Googled it, apparently was an early version of the game Wipeout, unsure if it was an arcade game. Kinda makes sense for the hackers to have an early version.
FUCK YOU I’M BRINGING IT BACK
Do it!
I look forward to reading your post in !tifu@sopuli.xyz
I’ll say this about Hackers: it’s a period piece about what we (at the time) wanted out of the present. We wanted hacking, computers, living at the bleeding edge of all this tech, to look and sound that cool. So the movie takes liberties.
As a concept, that absolutely could be done now. You just need someone to work with today’s youth and extrapolate from the present.
I still rollerblade…
Damn… you’re right.
Yes and that’s the only problem with that movie
It’s in that place where I put that thing that time …
I used to roller-blade all over the place in the town I grew up in. But most of the roads where I live are all dirt and gravel. So the amount of people who play on skateboards around here is pretty minimal too.
Hackers: because people don’t listen to decent fucking dance music anymore.
Tasmanian tigers were basically hunted to extinction.
Yeah basically
You couldn’t make the super Mario live action movie in 2024, because Bob Hoskins is dead
And if he was, you couldn’t make him star in it
John Leguizamo’s still alive! Luigi’s Mansion live action movie franchise, here we come!
I was kinda bummed that he didn’t play Luigi in the animated movie. I love Charlie but it should have been Leguizamo
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles these days because the kids wouldn’t know why Howard Johnson, who’s best known these days as a hotel chain, would be talking about protecting his ice cream stand.
I’m pretty old and I don’t think I get that joke, either.
Howard Johnson’s started out as a restaurant chain that was known for its ice cream. It was popular back then but all of the restaurants have closed since then.
Oh I think I recall a reference to that on Mad Men. Before my time though, and I’m in my 40s.
The Hedley/Hedy Lamarr joke might be lost on a lot of people these days too.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11, so I take this to mean “these movies that were set in the ‘present day’ could not be redone and set in the ‘present day’ of 2024.”
You couldn’t make Back to the Future because 21st century streets are no place for minors on skateboards.
You couldn’t make American Beauty for a LOT of reasons (including prevalence of digital video, marijuana legalization, increased public awareness/concern about pedophilia, etc)
You couldn’t make Clueless because shopping malls are dead (or at least nowhere near as cool as they used to be)
You couldn’t make Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream because heroin and cocaine are quaint drugs by 2020s standards
You couldn’t make Paris is Burning because Harlem gentrified big time (I know this is a documentary but still)
You couldn’t make The Matrix because no one would believe human batteries would be happy and content living in a simulation of 2024 (also no telephone booths)
I almost said The Truman Show because we basically live in that world already but fuck it, I wanna see a 2024 version where the producers have to keep desperately introducing crazier plot developments to try and compete for a TikTok-addicted audience unamused by “just another reality TV show”, and constant set issues like cast members getting fired right and left for sneaking smartphones onto set.
Yeah, it’s like saying “you couldn’t make Saving Private Ryan, because Europe is no longer at war”.
Europe is currently at war.
I think you’re absolutely correct, but I think the difference between “Home alone today” vs “Save private Ryan today” is, that when thinking about home alone, because the story is essentially time/context agnostic, they might imagine in being today, but in the save private Ryan it is specifically refering to 2nd world war, so noone would think about it being placed in today’s world But yeah, I agree with you. I could totally imagine a big movie creator lobbying government(s) to hamper war-ending efforts, so they can film there authentically, if it was easier than to do it in a studio
Saving Private Ivan
You could set it in Ukraine.
Rewatch the movie. Smith says, slightly paraphrasing, “We tried to make the Matrix a paradise, where none would suffer, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. Many wouldn’t accept the programming, entire crops were lost.”
So they simulated life as it was, complete with shitty apartments and asshole bosses.
He also talks about how they chose 1999 very intentionally for the simulation, as it was the peak of human civilization before the era of the machine. But nowadays instead feels like we’re already entering the era of the machine: we spend most of our time on devices and are surrounded by surveillance and now AI is entering the mix. Plus the 2020s also has featured a variety of other dystopian features like pandemic, inflation, extreme inequity, growing monopolies, the rise of fascism, and a very real chance of WWIII from multiple directions among them.
You have to remember 1999 was in fact an exceptionally peaceful and optimistic time in western society (at least in the US, which is where the film focuses on), but the year still had its “everyday woes,” making it the setting with a perfect balance between an ideal life and a crappy one. 2024 is way too far in the crappy direction.
Yeah, but 2024 sucks way too much for the premise that it’s as good as the human brain will accept.
Trainspotting with Meth would be… A train wreck…
I kinda want to see this now
Not in smaller towns, but big malls in bigger cities are still thriving.
As an European, it boggles my mind that small town malls were ever a big thing in the US.
In my country, cities still have malls, but small towns never did. There’s just not enough people + anyone who wants to go shopping will just go to the nearest city.
Then again, I guess our cities are American small towns by population…
Small town America didn’t have a “third space”. That’s essentially what made malls successful.
European small towns still have a walkable city center of some kind with restaurants and shops. Shopping malls are America’s version of the European city center.
True, but it’s less of a universal experience than in the 90s, and thus would be significantly less relatable to a growing population of teens, many of whom have few or no accessible third spaces left. My understanding is it’s mostly upscale malls and shops that are still thriving; most other standard mall retail has moved online.
Delete this misinformation.
I wish we lived in a world where I could
Speaking of telephone booths: With their disappearance the 2001 movie “Phone Booth” also lost its location.
Also you couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because most of the actors are a lot older now.
Now I want to see a 44-year old McCauley Culkin doing a new home alone, where his kids forget him at home.
Home Alone where Culkin plays Kevin again, but he’s an adult and paranoid about people breaking into his house while his wife is on vacation, so he’s rigged the whole thing as a death trap.
Remake Don’t Breathe but with an adult Kevin, essentially.
Honey, I killed the kids (again)
I want to see a new Home Alone where 44-year old McCauley Culkin plays an 8 year old and no one acknowledges that he isn’t actually 8 years old.
Hey if Martin Short could do it, so csn McCauly
The Critic did that joke way back in the 90s.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fonlEU7dFwA
And if you’re interested in The Critic, I’ve authored the definitive episode guide and I suggest you BUY MY BOOK! BUY MY BOOK! BUY MY BOOK! BUY MY BOOK!
The peanut, is neither a pee nor a nut.
That shit had little kid me rolling on floor. And I still laugh thinking about it. Iirc it was the critics dad who said it… and for some reason I think he was on the ceiling when he said it.
Also I could not find your book on Amazon or at my local library.
I’d rather see a remake/reboot where Culkin plays a character similar to old man Marley, accidentally scaring the kid character as a local urban legend. Similar to the scene in the church in the classic, he could empathize with the kid of the movie by talking about how he once wished that his family left him alone in that time of year too, and he quickly found that he regretted that wish and he missed them terribly. A decent writer could roll with that concept and still make it a great scene where the kid has wise advice to impart so it’s not just a soulless excuse for people to go “hey, that’s OG Kevin!” I’m not that writer, but hopefully a good writer reads this and can get a solid idea together to pitch so I can see that movie in my lifetime.
He just has a cool day. Some day drinking. High calorie snacks. Porn on the living room TV. Da works.
And he has early stage parkinsons, with hilarious consequences? I like your thinking, kiddo. you’re hired!
That one guy who gives Kevin directions is 78 now!
You couldn’t make Citizen Kane because flashbacks and other innovative filming techniques are now the norm.
You couldn’t make 8 heads in a duffle bag today, because people would be like “what the fuck? This is just 8 heads in a duffle bag. Did I just pay to buy a decades old movie?”
Man oh man that movie sucked. Like change the channel to the 700 club rather than watch that shit type of bad.
Fucking love that movie. Unironic laugh my ass off love that movie
You couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because the creators would sue you for copyright infringement.
To that bottom comment in the picture. You’d be amazed at how incompetent the TSA and other security staff can be at most airports.
I don’t know if this is still accurate, but the TSA failed their surprise tests over 90% of the time.
They didn’t stop the shoe bomber or the underwear bomber either. There’s a term for what they are, “security theater”. They make it look like they’re doing something to protect you, when really all their doing is stealing whatever they can get away with stealing and fingering people’s buttholes as often as possible.
Also, the TSA (or other country equivalent) is usually at the boundary between public areas and the boarding/departure area, each plane has airline employees making sure that each passenger that boards the plane has a valid ticket for the flight.
The TSA has little to do with what plane you actually board.
it could and did happen. I remember reading about 6 year old kid getting lost at the airport gate (i think it was in germany) only to be discovered when they finally looked for their parents in italy. just went away while parents were preoccupied with something else and looked like someone else’s kid while boarding the plane. as a parent travelling with small kid I can totally see that happening anywhere - kids can just walk anywhere with no questions asked as long as they are next to an adult who looks like they could be their parent.
Some creep stalker followed a family onto the wrong plane in DC just a couple of weeks ago
abcnews.go.com/GMA/Travel/…/story?id=112886450
aw man, I know people steal buttholes but fingering them seems a bit awful
Dumb and Dumber. There’s definitely an air tag in that luggage now.
Go. They could just call each other.
The Shining. That hotel is just automated now and doesn’t need a caretaker.
Catch Me If You Can. All that airline shenanigans could not happen post 9/11.
The Truman Show. No reality TV would put someone that earnest on as the center of the show.
Misery. Phones, GPS, the whole lot. He’d be much more trackable.
Network. No news network is giving their anchor that much monologue screen time without cutting to the next segment.
So I married an axe murderer. It’s just way easier to get full details on people now.
Was gonna say Toy Story but it looks like toys vs screens is literally the plot of the next one.
Reminds me of No County for Old Men (2007).
there’s a film that couldn’t be remade today. that film taught me if i ever come across a huge bag of cash probably involving gangs the first thing you do is move it to a new bag one note at a time to remove any tracking devices.
First thing to buy is a commercial roll of tinfoil to wrap the whole thing in.
Tinfoil good enough to protect the brain from the mind waves.
Ah yes, that other. Comedic trope where the dye pack explodes in your face and you spend the rest of the movie looking like a Smurf or Donald Trump
Good thing the plot is set in 1969 then.
The Truman Show - He was born into the role, iirc. The showrunners adopted him before he was born and taped his birth as the first episode of the show so it’s not like they knew his personality beforehand.
They absolutely would fuck with his life more than the original movie did, though. He wouldn’t have an idyllic life in a small town with too many ad reads, he’d be in The Squid Games.
theregister.com/…/sql_injection_known_crewmember/
Nah nah… You couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because if you were going to remake a series it would make more sense to start with Home Alone 1.
You couldn’t make Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone now because you’re not Warner Brothers and don’t own the copyright.
You couldn’t make Soylent Green today because literally everybody already knows by now that it’s people
There are some people who would pay top dollar to eat people. I’m not sure who. I guess it would vary from person to person.
You couldn’t make Taxi Driver today, because Travis would have already died by suicide in a school shooting before reaching adulthood and getting a job. Plus watching Travis’s nihilism growing not out narcissistic disgust with the seedy underbelly of New York, but out of love for the seedy underbelly of 4chan, wouldn’t really have the same kick to it.
Also it would be Uber Driver, which sounds dumb for a movie name.
Joker was practically a remake.
You couldn’t make Toy Story today because NOBODY should be okay with how disturbing Sid’s face is.
On a side note, with all the remakes that are made nowadays, why has there not been a shot-for-shot remake of Toy Story using Pixar’s modern tech? Please, fix those terrifying lips. PLEASE
You no longer need to use 10 step chains of parenting and unparenting to cobble together an animatable model, those data files are about as useful as a automatic loom’s punch card system. They were badly stitched together in the bad old days. The only way to do that would be to make the film from scratch, and I can’t imagine anyone would want to do it.
I feel like I totally should have thought of that but I didn’t so thank you for explaining it
Poor Will
oof lol But not really what I meant. If you haven’t seen Tin Toy, I recommend watching it to see what must have been Sid as a baby
Also because the kids aren’t glued to their phones or electronics and have actual toys. I’M OLD
Modern Toy Story, but instead of cowboys, dinosaurs and spacemen, its Skabati toilet and all that other ridiculous shit.
Isn’t this the plot of the next Toy Story film?
GOD Jeez Toy Story 1 did you have to use like the first 3d tools you found? How long have you even been working on this?
You can. Airport regulations have no bearing on fiction, and the movie does not need to be set in present time either.
True, but I’m the context of the film, it was set in (then) current day, and at least partially tried to make him being left behind plausible in that context.
Though honestly, with the way they showed the mix-up even back then, it’s plausible the same thing could happen with a kid now… If they look similar enough, and the parents were seriously distracted, it’s not like they have id for the kids or anything now. It’s parents dragging kids along and once you’re past security it’s basically the ticket agents glancing to make sure the number of people and number of tickets match.
We couldn't make Night of the Living Dead because it's daytime.
You couldn’t make Deadpool 1 today because it already premiered on February 12, 2016 and today is Sep 5, 2024, and it’s philosophically impossible to make the same movie again.
That won’t stop them.
DC have remade Batman 900 times now
I don’t think you could make a Deadpool 1 again because they never made a Deadpool 1. You could easily make Deadpool again, they do that all the time and it kind of sucks because you have to label it like Deadpool (2016) and Deadpool (2024).
Mostly you couldn’t make Deadpool today because it takes way, way longer than that to make a feature length film. Maybe you could do a YouTube short or something if you get started now. It’s already almost noon.
Someone should produce two identically named films in the same year and watch IMdB burn while they try to disambiguate them.
Unironically would be a very Deadpool thing to do.
Technically you could, if the movie were a forgotten piece of media, or the makers happened to be entirely ignorant of it.
Any Will Smith movie.
Golfinger. I watched it for the first time couple years ago. I couldn’t believe the misogyny. It was disturbing.
You’re right, and a good insight into institutional misogyny is that most bond movies were heralded as being feminist for showing scantily clad woman doing strong things but always strangely succumbing to Bond in the end. We’ve come far and still far to go
What? You don’t go around slapping girls in the bum? Casually harassing them? Painting them in gold?
/s just in case
Didn’t bond rape a lesbian?
Measuring how far we have come as a society, with respect to misogyny, by determining which Bond movies are no longer acceptable is a scale I’ve been using for a while; we recently surpassed Golden Eye in my eyes.
Hey at least this is one where you actually couldn’t make it today instead of being one where you merely couldn’t make it if it were set today.
You can’t make “The Princess Bride” nowadays because optimism and feel good emotions aren’t things that we’re allowed to have anymore.
Check out “Barb and Starr go to Vista Del Marr”.
That movie is hilarious!
You couldn’t make Star Wars (1977) today because we haven’t figured space travel yet
You can say we forgot space travel because it was a long time ago and far, far away.
That’s slightly political.
You couldn’t make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York today because Macaulay Culkin is an adult now and nobody wants to see a grown man playing a young child.
There was a remake idea floating around the Internet, even with a petition and such, that asked for the first Home Alone to be remade, but to still cast Macauley Macaulay Culkin Culkin as 8 year old Kevin without anyone acknowledging the age discrepancy.
Culkin even chimed in at some point and tweeted that he would be down for it. And honestly? I would definitely watch that.
I thought fan canon was that Kevin McAllister grew up and became Jigsaw?
Airplane!
Lots of reasons. Pick one.
Writers nowadays are unable to match the quality of the script.
Also, random boobies.
I think what made that script work was they just threw everything at the wall and if it stuck it stuck and, if not, they moved along. There’s like three spoken jokes and two sight gags per every five minutes of film; some of it hit, some of it didn’t. Some of it was topical, especially concerning the films they were lampooning, the dramatic “Airport” series. Like the PA announcements in the airport scenes about abortion, that was in “Airplane” because there was a whole subplot about abortion in “Airport.” In the dramatic film, it was as if the writers wanted to beat you over the head about abortion, so that specific joke in Airplane lands differently if you’ve seen and are a fan of the Airport series. Still… it’s a real testiment to the skill of the screen writers that modern audiences, many who have never even heard of “Airport” still find “Airplane” hilarious.
Even funnier that the actual LAX PA VA’s recorded the PA lines in this movie.
Surely you can’t be serious?
I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
Scully and Mulder often had to clarify “they were in an area that did not get great cellphone coverage” thirty years ago, they were always getting separated in urban settings
You couldn’t make a sequel to The Matrix because it shouldn’t be made.
like highlander and the crow you just you just can’t get that lightning out of that bottle again
The Weather Man… Cobra Verde… Even though the latter could have hardly ever been called mainstream.
You couldn’t make Casablanca today because that movie already exists.
I mean, technically you could still make it though… it likely wouldn’t sell any copies, but then again look at Skibidi, or better yet, don’t:-D.
It’s a Bojack Horseman reference.
I enjoyed that clip, thank you for sharing.:-)
It’s a fantastic show if you haven’t seen it. The first half of season one can be a little rough, but it really picks up in season 2 and beyond. It’s amazingly well written, and has visual gags that you don’t notice until the second or third time watching.
The show seems too “realistic” to me, as in its jokes hit too close to home where it hurts 🤕:-P, but that’s why I appreciate clips like these that show off its great depth well in shorter form.
Although whoever was downvoting you seems to disagree - I guess the show is controversial? (Casue if people did not get the joke, then why bother downvoting?)
You couldn’t make any movie today, because you probably arent someone that knows how to make movies, and has the relevant equipment and team of actors on hand, and even if you do or try to get by with the sub-par equipment on like your phone camera or something, one day just isnt enough time to make a whole movie in.
It’s literally never been easier to make a good-looking movie than today.
Mirrorless cameras can shoot good enough quality for the big screen, and you can get one under $1000 including a lens or two.
All the post-processing can be done in software, including special effects.
And more people than ever are comfortable acting out on front of a camera.
Definitely would have to cut parts and make serious edits if they made a remake of the original instead of the upcoming sequel, but Beetlejuice.
The slit wrist joke would definitely be cut. The ghost advisor woman who smokes through her neck would most likely be on the chopping block due to the decline of smoking. The scene where Beetlejuice is stuck on the diorama and goes to the hooker/strip club(?) would probably be out. And the scene that would without a doubt be completely removed or reworked entirely no questions asked in a modern remake would be the scene with the centuries old creep Beetlejuice trying to marry an underage teenager.
You failed the assignment.
Deleted by author
Political correctness* was the caveat in the post
There’s a lot of really racist and rapey stuff out there that didn’t seem like a big deal back in the day. From the 80’s especially.
A lot of Mel Brooks films (yeah, it’s humor, but would it fly today?)
Nerds.
The Meaning of Life
Porky’s
Fast Times
maybe even Sixteen Candles?
Sean Connery’s Bond movies and character were racist, homophobic, misogynistic as hell…
I don’t think you understood the exercise.
I had a great idea for a movie a while back, a bunch of guys in their 50s trying to relive their youth by doing classic “pranks” from the movies from their youth and figuring out half way through that they were committing sex crimes and felonies and then hilarious hijinks ensue as they try to unravel their idiocy.
The Mel Brooks movies I’ve seen…
Young Frankenstein…I think you could make this movie, but there’s no one in Hollywood that could play Marty Feldman’s Igor.
Blazing Saddles…It’s often cited as an outright dare to censors but really it’s a very special episode. The most important line in it is “Ah prairie shit. Everybody!”
History of the World Part 1: The naked homophobia in the Caesar’s Palace sequence isn’t going to work in the 21st century. I think you could make The Musical Inquisition starring a singing dancing Torquemada but it would still have to be played by a prominent Jewish comedian. And from the French part of the movie, I think the main thing they’d cut is the old man freeing all his dead birds.
Spaceballs: no notes? Modern Hollywood wouldn’t greenlight this movie because they can’t sell parodies in China.
Robin Hood: Men In Tights: I’m not sure how “Testicles of a newt. Guess he’s a transsexual now!” would fly in 2024. Can I share something strange? I 100% believe modern Hollywood would be able to make Robin Hood Prince of Thieves complete with the scene where Alan Rickman forces Mary Elisabeth’s legs apart with his feet, but I don’t think they’d be okay with making a lighthearted parody of that same scene where he uses an anachronistic jackhammer on an Everlast brand chastity belt.