New iOS call preferences (satire)

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New iOS call preferences (satire)

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/32756316

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Faraday bag it is.

As soon as you take it out, it will automatically reconnect and will give you an AI generated summary of everything Auntie said in your absence, so you can jump right in again!



Just imagine. Apple could make it a microtransaction bidding war. If you hit the "end" button it says "override caller's preference not to let you hang up for only 75¢." And then it puts on the caller's screen "Tommy has initiated a bid to control hanging up privileges. The current bid is 75¢."


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Soren Iverson is great! He comes up with these unhinged app mockups all the the time

One of my favorites of his.

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[deleted]
edited depth: 3

I’ve interviewed far too many pale where the interview went like this:

It says you worked on this huge project, how did it work?

Oh, I was on the team but I wasn’t really involved in [MAIN PART OF PROJECT].

Okay, well what did you work on then?

I was on the team. I coordinated with the team.

HR said I can’t abruptly end these interviewes anymore and there’s 50 minutes left on the clock. How did you get through the other screening emails again?

hey man, it's not my fault i get stuck on test automation all the time

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[deleted]
depth: 5

I don't care if your project was fancy or exciting, I just need to understand your technical contributions and skillset.

Starting off with lying on the resume is just a total non starter for me.



This is why I can't seem to even get an interview. People just apply to any and all jobs using whatever cv/experience they have or don't have.

Can't really blame then when requirements have been artificially jacked up


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[deleted]
depth: 5

Honestly I hate it.

I hate wasting my time interviewing these people. I hate that HR does such a shit job on the most basic of screening. I hate that every job gets 1000 shit ai generated resumes that are full of lies when there are good people out there struggling.



“Well, I don’t interact directly with the customer. My assistant does that. Listen, I’m a people person, my job is important!”



This recent one is great too 😄

I’d like this one haha.





shuts off the phone


Removes power button

Throws phone out the window



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Ah so that's why you can't remove batteries anymore /j




I would absolutely love this, I would never answer a call again and it would be completely justified.

"Sorry I didn't answer, I was just in the middle of an urgent task and didn't know how long you wanted the call to last"

Next iOS version: setting that forces calls to be automatically answered, and turns on the recipient's speakerphone at max volume

That's what we call a walkie-talkie.




Is there a preference that automatically end calls after 120 seconds?

Automatic driving-through-a-tunnel option. Perhaps also a spotty-connection option.


I think there used to be an app to make fake background sounds in calls. Doubt it exists now due to higher security.


"Hey Siri, set a 2 minute timer"

Answer call

Alarm goes off

Put phone into airplane mode

Problem solved



I remember landlines in the UK actually operating like this in the nineties. If you hung up, the line would stay open until the caller ended the call. It doesn't make any sense and I remember being surprised when it didn't happen when the caller was on a mobile phone.

Maybe our cable company's exchanges were misconfigured? I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen these days. You could never hang up on unsolicited sales calls for example.

It happened with some analogue lines and particular phones. The line would stay active while a voltage was applied. Initially, the caller would provide it. It would then change to allow both to drop it. Some phones would keep the line high, hell or high water, basically jamming it open.



Spammers would love this feature.
they'll even pay for a subscription that makes your phone automatically pick up.


I expected an option that replaces Aunt Janet with an AI voice that summarizes each sentence

That AI is gonna be so cooked for multilingual conversations

Easy fix, just have the AI summarize what happened in the last week for you so you don't confuse it with multiple languages. Now you don't have to talk and the other person doesn't have to listen!



I have this friend that talks in essays she got very pissed off when I pulled out my phone to provide a summary of what was said.

I would be too. People can talk how they want. They don’t need assholes pulling out their shit AI to get in the way of that. If you don’t like talking to them, just find new friends, but don’t insult them like that.

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and I’m assuming you know this person well and it was a joke, but a lot of people are starting to treat LLMs as their lazy way around real conversation.




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"You cannot turn off this phone while a call is active."

  • places phone in microwave. (Faraday Cage)

“Connection restored… reconnecting previous call”

this made me snort my coffee




That's a 10 hour toilet visit, right there. No mute.



Call center employees feel this pain.

Omg yes. The "you can't hang up before the customer dies does" rule was painful. Some people really do call in to catch up with whatever friend picks up that day. I had one woman give me her entire medical history over the phone and I didn't know how to deal with that when starting off on the job.

(Funny autocorrection, leaving it in 😂)


Really? I'll start just muting and silencing telemarketers.



Slow your roll, Satan


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